NARRATOR". We have already seen Gotham City's charter stolen...
by the rottenest egg of them all, Egghead.
Gordon and O'Hara with egg on their faces.
Batman and Robin answer their weekly call.
The city really owned by the Mohican Indians...
and only leased by the citizens.
Nine pelts paid every five years to renew the lease...
or it will egg-xpire.
Was this Eggheads plan?
It was.
Chief Screaming Chicken, last of the Mohicans, gave his word.
But he was an Indian giver.
Batman and Robin attack.
A millionaire kidnapped.
Another millionaire kidnapped.
Our millionaire kidnapped.
Egghead suspects that Bruce Wayne is Batman.
Will this fiendish machine vacuum his brain?
Holy hypothesis!
The Caped Crusader held in his chair by electromagnetic power.
Can this really be happening?
Let this serve as a warning to anyone with a delicate nature.
The most egg-xcruciating circumstances are yet to come.
Four seconds and you'll be as helpless as a newborn babe.
Ha, ha. How egg-xotic.
Nice going, Dick. I thought I was a goner.
Well, was...? Is he? Is he?
Only a bit of information trickled through...
before that accursed teenager turned the switch.
- And? - That man has a mind full of trivia.
It's inconceivable that he could be Batman.
Back, back, I say.
This is a radar egg.
And the slightest vibration will make it egg-xplode...
and turn this into a room carpeted with wall-to-wall millionaires.
Let's get out of here.
It's two minutes before midnight and the lease is about to egg-xpire.
Nothing can stop us now.
We have only one chance.
This type of mechanism is only sensitive up to about 6 feet.
Do exactly as I do.
We just can't leave that bomb there, Bruce. Some innocent bystander might get hurt.
Correct. Therefore we must trigger that mechanism before we leave.
- Tim, Pete, wait outside. - But...
- Please, please, there's no time to lose. - Okay.
- Now what? - We play marbles.
Marbles?
I heard Egghead say he didn't think you were Batman.
And the machine worked, didn't it?
Only too well, Dick.
After years of mental conditioning...
I was able to block off that portion of my brain...
pertaining to my dual identity.
I couldn't have lasted much longer, though. All right, let's get down.
You got it on the first shot.
At the age of 11, I was junior marble champion of Gotham City.
- Even then. - Let's go.
12:03.
I can't conceive of what happened to those three millionaires.
It's all too incredible, but Gotham City now belongs to Chief Screaming Chicken.
You better believe it, buddy.
Oh.
- What happened to you? - A long story. Are we...?
Too late.
Midnight came and went, and with it the fate of Gotham City.
You no show up, me now own Gotham City and all suburbs.
That is the way the Wigwam watusies.
But is it legal, Mr. Mayor?
- I'm afraid so, Batman. - Even though Egghead kidnapped...
the millionaires and held them until after midnight? That's against the law.
Boy Wonder, there is no more law in Gotham City.
We're at his mercy.
We must give him enough rope, commissioner.
And let him be hoist by his own petard. Trust me.
Batman, we're in your hands like we've never been before.
Correction.
You are in my hands.
This is my official contract with Chief Screaming Chicken.
And it gives me complete control of Gotham City as his emissary.
You fiendish devil.
Egg-xpletives will get you nowhere, my cowled crime-buster.
The Gotham City Charter is back in its case...
and it's quite egg-xplicit, if you care to read it.
You'll have to talk a little slower, Eggy-pooh...
if I'm going to capture all your wisdom on paper.
You think anybody will buy his book...
on how to be a better criminal? - Quiet.
My first duty as new leaseholder of Gotham City...
is hereby to fire the mayor and the police commissioner.
You can't do that.
Oh, yes, I can.
You are through. Finished. Fired.
Up. Out. Out. Over. Up. Out.
We're witnessing a new low in community relations, Robin.
And as for you, my caped incompetents...
I hereby egg-xpell you from the Gotham City limits.
If you so much as show your masks around here again...
I'll have you both egg-xecuted.
This is the saddest day of my young life, Batman.
What Will be, Will be.
Goodbye, Gotham City.
You were my kind of town.
If Batman and Robin ever come back to Gotham City...
they'll be shot on sight.
- Ain't that great? - Hold your egg-xuberance, Foo.
My amazing brain tells me that we haven't seen the last of them yet.
We gotta move fast, Robin.
The longer Egghead is in control of Gotham City, the more chaos will erupt.
What will we do? We're barred.
This is one time when Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson...
can do more good than Batman and Robin. - How?
Egghead said the city charter is back in its resting place.
My training in legal matters has taught me...
that every document has some fine print that is usually overlooked.
Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson are going to steal the charter.
Wow, talk about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Stop them!
Stop them! They've just stolen $50,000 worth of precious jewels.
I'm sorry, sir. Commissioner Egghead says we're not allowed to arrest his friends.
Well, if you won't do anything about it, I will.
Sir. Sir, come back here, please.
- I'm afraid I'm gonna have to give you a ticket. - A ticket? For what?
Jaywalking.
I don't understand.
Murderers and thieves are making Gotham City an unfit place to live in...
and you stopped me to tell me to fasten my seatbelt.
I'm just doing my job, sir.
With all the noise and the shooting and everything going on...
who could blame me for missing that litter basket with my tissue?
Just the facts, ma'am. Will you please give me just the facts?
It's 3:00 in Gotham City, and time for the 11th hour news.
Our town is in an uproar.
Robberies are taking place all over Gotham City...
and the police are powerless to stop them.
Commissioner Egghead seems to take great delight at the happenings.
The big question is, where are Batman and Robin?
Even though they've been banned from the city limits...
all Gotham City is hoping for them to help us in our hour of need.
Things may have gotten somewhat out of hand, Dick.
Why don't we take a nice drive into the city?
- Great. - Is that wise, sir?
We have no other choice.
How are we going to open it?
We'll have to break the case.
Why don't you use the Batbeam in the spare utility belt you wear?
If I did, Egghead might suspect Batman.
No, we'll use ordinary means.
They fell into the trap. Oh, I am egg-static. Ha-ha-ha.
Calling all cars. Calling all cars.
Be on the lookout for Batman and Robin in the vicinity of the city hall.
Well, gentlemen...
when we capture the caped crime-Crushers...
we will remove their masks...
and egg-xpose their faces to the public.
Then they will be out of business.
I wonder who they are?
Well, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson. I'm surprised you came to Gotham City...
the way things are going.
We had some business to attend to.
Did you happen to see Batman and Robin around the area?
Commissioner Egghead has given my men orders to shoot them on sight.
I haven't seen Batman for weeks.
Well, thanks anyhow.
There it is.
The clause we've been looking for.
"If the heirs to Gotham City's lease fail to make payment on the approved day..."
said property reverts to the Mohican Indians and/or their legal representatives.
The only stipulation to this clause...
is that the property may never be leased to anyone who's committed crimes...
"against the city, territory, or the crown."
In those days we were still a British colony.
What does it mean, Batman?
It means we've got that criminal by his large, gray, double-A head.
I don't think he'll be satisfied with half the loot collected by the visiting gangs, Robin.
- He must have something bigger in mind. - What could it be?
Think, Robin, think.
Where is all the money in Gotham City kept?
In the treasury, of course. With the tax just having been collected...
there must be close to $30 million in that vault.
Right, Robin. And what's a synonym for the word "treasury"?
Depository? Strong room? Bursary?
Of course, the English word for "treasury."
Exchequer. - Or eggs-chequer.
- Oh, you've done it again. - To the Batmobile.
Here I am with 29 million George Washingtons, and I don't feel the least bit crowded.
And the beautiful part about it is all of this money is tax-exempt.
Me think you are crooks. Me go tell the mayor.
Oh, but my dear egg-xalted chief, you are the mayor.
- Ha, ha. - Oh. Oh, you're right.
Me have short memory span.
I say, Foo Yung, will you loan me a couple of hundred thousand or so?
Of course, my dear.
Here you are. Pay me back whenever you can find the time.
I'm in no hurry.
Perfumes from Paris and dresses from Rome.
And my very own handsome guardsman from Buckingham Palace.
You know, one of those men who don't giggle when you tickle them.
And now...
And now to egg-xpedite matters, let's start packing this stuff up. Ha, ha!
Is this the way it's all supposed to end, Mayor Linseed?
Not with a bang, but, uh, with a whimper?
We're like two old warhorses being put out to pasture.
I never thought I'd see the day.
And you haven't.
Batman, Robin, you realize you're taking a grave chance by coming here?
- That's why we took the surreptitious route. - Egghead's got a price on your cowl.
The person bringing you in, dead or alive, gets $50,000.
- Holy recompense. - That's all over now.
A clause in the city charter refutes anything Egghead might have planned.
It specifically prohibits criminals from leasing any of Gotham City.
- Splendid news, Batman. - What now?
It's my guess that Egghead and his men had another crime in mind.
- We think they're going to loot the treasury. - And we're going there right now.
Clear all police channels for an emergency message.
This is Commissioner Gordon speaking. Men, I have wonderful news for you.
Batman and Robin are back.
We no longer have to take any of Eggheads guff...
because he no longer has a legal hold on our fair city.
Batman and Robin were gone from our ranks less than 24 hours, Mayor Linseed.
And you were a witness to the havoc that was wrought.
Call them the Dynamic Duo, the caped crime-fighters, the foes of felons.
Call them what you will.
But thank your lucky stars we can call them our friends.
- We better hurry, Batman. - Not too fast, Robin.
In good Batclimbing, as in good driving, one must never sacrifice safety for speed.
Right again, Batman.
Who are you, citizen?
Oh, my name Jose Jimenez.
And who, may I ask, are you two nice people...
climbing down the side of this building when the elevators are available?
- I'm Batman. - And I'm Robin.
Ah, oh. I'm the foreman of a jury.
We're trying to make up our minds what to do to a terrible nasty criminal person, you know.
- Oh. - Trying to find out now. Excuse me.
Oh, you decided?
What? Oh.
Fellas, could you leave the rope?
Gone. Every penny is gone.
- Holy banks. - Almost $30 million in small bills.
Oh! Oh, Mr. Masked Man, you are so right.
That Egghead, one very bad hombre.
- Where did he go, Chief Screaming Chicken? - He leave me to hold them bag...
while he escape. - But where?
He say he must replenish before he go to South America.
Then they all lay high.
Lay low.
Lay low, yeah. Me wrong on direction, yeah.
He say he lay low for one day and then pretty soon maybe they all leave.
Any particular place in South America?
Oh, he say he take money, all the money, and run Venezuela.
Chief Screaming Chicken, I think you've been led down a primrose path.
My face is so red.
Robin, tell Commissioner Gordon...
to alert all land, sea and air exits from Gotham City.
We must keep Egghead within the city limits until we find out where his hideout is.
Hm. Roger.
Boy, it makes me feel good to be a Gotham Cityite...
when I see how everybody forgave Chief Chicken.
You'll find that people are basically good. They're merely reacting to their surroundings.
Chief Screaming Chicken was wooed from the path of righteousness...
by some extravagant promises.
It's a human failing that all of us are subject to at one time or another.
But all that's water over the embankment.
- Right now our job is to find Egghead. - Mm. Any ideas?
We know his diet consists solely of grade triple-A white eggs.
If he were to take a trip, which all the evidence indicates he might do...
he would first have to load up on all the eggs he could carry.
Right.
How many poultry farms, triple-A variety, are there within the limits of Gotham City?
Mm, three. Bernie's Chicken Farm in the Lakewood area.
But that farm produces only brown eggs.
Hmm.
Paul's Poultry Palace in Pimlico.
- And if my memory serves me correctly... - As it always does.
Paul's Poultry Palace has only eight hens and one rooster.
Scarcely enough to feed his voracious appetite.
And with all the roads out of Gotham City blocked...
that leaves only one place.
Are you some kind of nut or something?
You can't come in here and steal my eggs like this, bub.
Mr. MacDonald, you should be egg-xpressing your thanks...
that I saw fit to grace your ranch with my presence. Ha, ha.
Only the finest quality eggs will do for my dietary practices.
Besides, your prices are egg-xorbitant.
I'll make you a good deal. Better than wholesale.
My good fellow, let me egg-xplain. Egghead never pays for anything.
It's just not done among your finer class of criminals.
Why, do you realize that if I paid one penny, it would ruin my reputation among my peers?
- It's almost dark, Egghead. - Don't you think we better get going?
Hey, how are we gonna get out of here? They blocked off the airports.
- And the roads. - And the harbor.
Well, since all of the overland routes have been egg-xpunged...
the only way to go is underground.
So let us explore Gotham City's sewer system.
- Just the right place for a rat like you. - The only place you're going is up the river.
Let's give them a taste of our knuckles, shall we?
Batman!
All right, all right, that's all.
Cease and desist.
I'm done.
Who's gonna pay for all my eggs?
You'll be reimbursed, Mr. MacDonald, at the current market rate.
Woe is me.
My criminal career is now egg-xtinct.
Foolish evil man.
You're going to end up where all broken eggshells end up.
In the garbage.
Give me a break, Batman?
You'll be dealt with fairly in a court of law.
Miss Bacon.
I'm puzzled why a girl of your obvious breeding, education, style and class...
should have become involved with someone like Egghead.
I guess I'm just lucky, Batman.
Is this the end of the book, Eggy-pooh?
The end, period.
I guess I laid an egg.
Batman, we owe you a debt that can never be repaid.
Good city government is its own reward, Commissioner Gordon.
All the visiting criminals have been apprehended...
by our stalwart police, Boy Wonder.
The police of Gotham City are the best anywhere.
Our job is done.
Come on, Robin.
If you need us again, gentlemen, we're as close as your Batphone.